Confession of a Sufferrer?

Confession of a Sufferrer - Part 1

I just don't like how I look. I don't like how my fat tummy & thighs were together & they look gross. I just want to be skinny & my mind has been going over the skeleton image body. I want that "perfect" collarbones, skinny wrist, skinny thighs or thigh gaps & flat tummy. I'm not following someone who used to suffer from this illness in order to gain attention or anything. No. I just feel like I don't deserve to eat. I feel completely grossed out when I see people eat but I did took a bite or ate something but my tummy just wouldn't accept them.

I like the feeling of hunger. I like the feeling when my tummy craves for food that I like. I just don't know why. I refused to take a sip of water & sometimes I just take one sip & that's it. I just like the feeling of touching the bones. I know it's a life-threatening disease but what can I possibly do? I just couldn't help it but let my soul be taken over by Ana. I do ask for professional help but my psychiatrist doesn't even care about me. I'm just tired of fighting this stupid battle & just let me rest. I just don't wanna wakeup. This is all a bad dream.