The Truth
A HUGE TRIGGER WARNING - please DO NOT continue to read if you are easily triggerred! This post contains abuse & dangerous acts which may kill you at any time! Please DO NOT follow what I have done cause seriously, it's no use!
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It all started when I was suffering from severe depression & personality disorder that this happen - the baddest thing happen that took over my mind & my life. This disorder that is not officially diagnosed from my psychiatrist, which I can tell from myself that I am actually suffering from this. Anorexic-Bulima. You guys may be wondering what is this? Basically it means that I am actually suffering from both. For better understand of what is Anorexia, please kindly click here - click me! I'm Anorexia. For better understand of what is Bulima, please kindly click here - click me! I'm Bulimia.
How it all started? Good question!
It all started in mid of July 2015. I was a food lover. I love food. I love to taste food from different stores - of course must be Halal in order for me to eat duh -.-, so basically it all started with me eating foods that I love to try & from then on I started to continously eating non-stop as if there is no tomorrow! I started to binged & binged until I grew from 70kg to 89kg. I've gained 19kg in just a month & I was fat! You could totally see my tummy, my huge thighs. Most of the clothes that I use to wear when I weigh 70kg doesn't fit me anymore. I was sad & depressed that I began to purge & purge. Purging is NOT good for your health as it will destroy your immune system especially your throat! Purging out the food that I eat as I cried silently in the bathroom because I don't like what I see. Soon I started to cry & whined at my mother that I was fat & guess what? I was admitted to IMH & spend a week there. They cut down my meals & I was monitered by the nurses there & they've controlled the amount of food I ate. Soon after I was discharged, everything went back to normal. I eat as usual, I started to lose weight which makes me happy!
But the happiness only lasted for few months until my mind was caught by Anorexia. To be completely honest, I was not really Anorexic but I could tell that symptoms of Anorexia shown from my body & I need help. In September this year, I started to cut down my food calorie intakes. Usually a person would eat 1500-2000 calories, but I took lesser than the calorie intake. The calorie intake that I am taking right now is 400-700 calories. I will bot eat if the food has more than 1500 calorie because I believe that it'll make me grow fatter. I just don't know what but I am so scared to even eat small bowl of rice. Since then, the restrictio started & I started to lose weight. Even my friends saw the difference & now I don't know what to do. I began to take laxatives to make myself constipate & it got so addictive that I onced overdose & it give this side effect where I had a high fever & made me go to the toulet more than 3 times.
I'll planning to get help from the eating specialist VERY soon! So please guys, don't be like me! It's a life threatening disease!