Understanding Mental Illness
Here is the updated version of the previous post that I did which you can scroll down to see or read what I have posted before! I've decided to make an updated version because here is more detailed than the previous one!
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So basically I understand that 99.9% of humans in the whole wide world doesn't understand what is the true meaning of having a mental illness and what does it feels like to suffer from it - I guess? *snorts laugh*. 0.01% of humans do understand, study psychology of humans or animals but do they know what we have been suffering or what we have been going through during our hard days or troubled days? No. No one knew at all.
What I truly suffer from?
• Mild Social Anxiety
• Panic Attacks
• Major Depressive Disorder
• Personality Disorder
this MIGHT be in the list above :
• Eating Disorder
• Repressed Memory
So to answer your questions, what does Social Anxiety means? Social anxiety is a form where someone gets an anxiety or fear of being attacked or fear of being harmed by someone they knew or they did not knew. This usually happens because of one possible thing ; Traumatic Experience. Panic attacks do come along with social anxieties but in my case, my anxiety is mild which means is not really severe. I was given an medication for it until it shows some side allergic effects that I have to throw it away (with my psychiatric approval) which kinda sucks because without it, I have to use a lot of things like hair-bands to things to keep me occupied because when my anxiety comes, panic attacks do come along and it's very hard for me to deal with it.
I started to develop depression when I was 13 and it has been 2 years now since I have been battling with depression. How the cycle goes? Firstly I was diagnosed with depression. Then, after that my psychologist (the one I hated the most - UGH, now so lucky no need to see her anymore.) diagnosed me with mild then after that she refer me to my psychiatrist - the one I am currently meeting right now and then I was diagnosed with Major - sucks to be honest. Depression came along because of these few reasons which tops the most ;
• Genetics
• Trauma
Depression is an emotional disorder where it really affects someone's everyday life such as mood swings, low self-esteem and negative thoughts. In order to be recovered from depression, the best option is to visit psychologist or go through mental illness counselling every week/months. As for my case, I went for every week sessions cause in my case, it's quite severe - long story. How does personality disorder comes? Personality disorder is basically known as mood disorder. From what I understand - as what I heard from my psychologist on what is the true meaning behind it, it means that if you feel down, you will feel down throughout the whole days or even weeks - depends until your mood changes. This can happened because of the effect of traumatic experience that a patient suffer from and the patient hides the traumatic memory into a some sort of a "safety-box" where all traumatic experiences as in the memories will be kept inside and the patient won't remember unless someone hit the "safety-box" as in when a patient is oftens bullied in school that the patient is afraid to go to school and when the patient recover from the phobia and when a similar thing happened, it somehows just opened the "safety-box", therefore released the repressed memory and BOOM.
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What does all that means? Repressed Memory is known as part of psychiatry or psychology problem where part of the traumatic memories were blocked due to stress or trauma that it can highly make the patient have amnesia, childhood-amnesia and etc. As what I can understand for my own mental illness, I suffers from both, meaning I couldn't barely remember my primary school days and I also have some sort of "memory-loss" due to some traumatic experience which I do not remember. Even if my psychology or my psychiatry wanted me to return back the repressed memory or want me to remember what had happened, I would have said No, because if it is really traumatic, I do not wanna risk my mental health for it. Might as well just remain it blocked and better suffer from short-term memory loss. You get what I mean?
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Currently, I have a lot of bills to pay for my medications and also to help to ease my parent's burden, I have opened a blogshop on Carousell. I would highly appreciate if you could purchase some of the items on my blogshop as I am currently raising funds to help my parents as we are currently in need of financial help - even though we received help from the government but still it is not enough.
Please click the link BELOW ⤵.
MY GOAL 💪 FOR THE FUNDS
Approximately : $600
Currently : $10