What am I?

have you ever felt that you are going crazy? crazy at some point that you want to see blood sheds everywhere? because you feel that you ain't getting any better but instead you could feel some "bad" in you? yeah. that is what is happening to me. i just don't know why but this is what i am feeling at the moment. i can't think of good things instead thinking of something that is evil. evil enough to think that i could have some control in it when in fact i don't wanna hurt anybody.

the voices, the constant infos i am getting is just anhvsknzusbxkmdk! (those unscripted sentence were to suppose to be an emoji but if i were to use it, it won't appear physical as it was in a blog).
it's like i could see myself being evil, being bad towards everyone and i don't know. this resulted not by watching crime shows or even superheros shows or anything, it just somehow develop over the years like my hatred somehow make me feel that the people who hurt me, doesn't deserve to live.

and i tried to isolate myself, by not going into social medias recently but hell, i can't. even with those extreme measures of not posting or anything, it got a lot more worse. i tried to search up online and if it's okay to have this some sort of feeling but i just can't find the answers. i know i am crazy and i will always be.