lack of everything
i ain't getting better. and i will never be. this is the first time i felt that i've lost hope. everyday i wonder why i lived, why am i breathing, why am i alive? things were hard and i chose to believe that things will get better but everyday it's been living like hell. i chose to believe that the very next day will get better but everyday i feel like i'm fighting with a ghost that has been living in my body. and no single good luck has been happening. everyday it's just a false hope. i don't even know why are we even breathing? why do we breath when live isn't better?
it's not even my hope to live longer. my father has lost his smile or his motivation. everyday he wonders when or how will he get a job with his condition like so. my mother falls ill and just discharged from the hospital and feeling pressured that my father couldn't get a job still and money is an issue. as for me, i struggled to live with anxiety and pressure that i have been build up with loads of hatred. i'm not blaming my parents but i'm blaming the situation we are put in.
i'm a sole breadwinner. i struggled to keep my job alive, my mental health has been deteriorating and i'm slowly becoming a monster. i'm living in a dead body.
hate to admit but i wish my parents and i were dead. that way, we'll live off with the pain and won't have to bear the grudges, humiliation from other people.
the only way for us to live is to die.
it's not even my hope to live longer. my father has lost his smile or his motivation. everyday he wonders when or how will he get a job with his condition like so. my mother falls ill and just discharged from the hospital and feeling pressured that my father couldn't get a job still and money is an issue. as for me, i struggled to live with anxiety and pressure that i have been build up with loads of hatred. i'm not blaming my parents but i'm blaming the situation we are put in.
i'm a sole breadwinner. i struggled to keep my job alive, my mental health has been deteriorating and i'm slowly becoming a monster. i'm living in a dead body.
hate to admit but i wish my parents and i were dead. that way, we'll live off with the pain and won't have to bear the grudges, humiliation from other people.
the only way for us to live is to die.