End

things have been hard recently. there's so much that i'm trying to.... i just don't know. i'm so exhausted. this is the first time i'm feeling that i just want to end everything. i'm unhappy. i'm not okay. my heart is so painful. my dad went for a job interview but sadly, he didn't get a job for it. and next year, January, it's our last month that we're going to get financial help before it expires and we have to renew it. right now, we are at the ends meet. we have not more than $10 to survive. 

it's fucking stressful when you are the only one that had to work just to pay your own bills and to add on that our financial help will expire next January and having to renew it doesn't help. waiting for it to approve took lile nearly 2 months. i'm depressed. my parents are depressed. i've got to admit that i'm thinking to end my life. my parents. sounds ironic right, instead of me, thinking about ending our live, my mother too. even if we asked and seek help from our family, it doesn't work. they don't understand. 

i have to let go for studying. i barely save my job. i was hoping that i could just continue. i have dreams. i have goals. but sadly, it will not even worked. i'm just... so done.... not even sure if i could just continue living. i don't know man. i'm sorry that i've to talked about the same thing. i don't have anyone to talked too. my blog is the only one that i could communicate with. 

= K. =