It's been a While

It's been a while. 

I couldn't write these past weeks or month. Was it a month that I've had any post up? Blame my memory. I've always forget about things. And no, I'm not getting old or even have memory loss due to illness or such, it happens because of anti-depressants. Consuming them for nearly 7 years, it made my memory gotten weaker. And yes, it gave me an intense anxiety. 

A lot of things happened lately. My current job (that pays me every month) is being held up. I couldn't continued unless the situation got better. And currently, I'm working as a freelance, daily cash job, which seems a good idea, rather than sticking at home, feeling way more depressed than I already am. 

Friends comes and go. 

Lost quite a lot of friends. Most of them are either toxic, lost contact or forgotten. But I don't blame them either. I mean, who wants to make friends or be friends with someone like me? A psycho with a psycho mind, negative, intrusive? When I said psycho, being a psycho doesn't mean that I'm a killer. Being a psycho to me is me, being a killer, to myself. Killing myself slowly. That's how psycho I am. 

Thankfully, I had 2 friends but let's see how it goes. Maybe the friendship last, maybe not. And even if it does, that hallelujah but if it's not, then, I'd not be surprised. It happens quite a lot of times so I've gotten used to it. 

COVID19 is giving us a very fucked up time. Many people lost their jobs, business shutting down. It literally became an apocalypse. I believe it does. So many things happened, changes. What can you expect, right?