20th

It's 28th January. 

I'm 20. 

It's not something I should be happy or celebrate of because every birthdays, bad things would happen. All started when I was 13, so 7 years ago, my birthdays have been very dull. Everything like bad things happened on the 28th. Before my 14th birthday, 2 days before 28th, I was admitted in the asylum (IMH) for my first suicide attempt and relapse. 

And on my 15th birthday, I was admitted because I had relapse. 16th birthday, my dad quit his job without having a discussion with my mom. 17th birthday, relapse happened, isolated myself for weeks, didn't went back to the asylum. 18th birthday, relapse happened again, admitted to the asylum after 2 years of not coming back. 19th birthday, my dad lost his job because the company he was in fired all the employees because of bankruptcy. 

and today, even more bad things happened. for the past months last year, my days weren't amazing because of COVID and also I lost the source of my main income which is my job. And I barely could even survive until I found a freelance job which is a daily pay, but it wasn't still enough :(. 

And as for 2021, I wasn't still hoping for a new change because it'll never happened. There will be no good days anymore. And there will be never be. 

Happy birthday, Corpse. Happy birthday.