Update? Is it? Brief 2021.

2021 is going to end in few days so I figured I should do a post about my well, not so interesting 2021. There's so many unhappy things or moments or stuff that I'm proud of and things that are part of my PTSD. One of which is, I was sexually harassed at work, made a police report and police doesn't believe me and even thinks that I made a false statement. They'd rather believe the words of a man who harassed me at work. Interesting right, what a fucked up police government in Singapore. *insert fake laugh*. Also a thing that my father got sick, his lungs is small because well, his lungs failure? Ha. My brain is stopping right now. I can't find a suitable words to even describe this. Ha. 

Family dispute? My grandma almost loses her life. She nearly died, thanks my ungrateful cousin. Well, a lot of family dispute here and there, I don't have any personal issues at the moment with myself but mostly is because of family. Financial is still a burden but it's well, manageable still. Erm.. as I grew older now, I kinda feel lonely, ha. Not really, maybe because I don't socialize that much and I relied on my own imaginative world with my favorite characters from movies or dramas where they'd accept me for who I am rather than people around me. Mad Hatter? A character liked me. Alice, quiet, adventure and reserved. Ciri, lonely and curious. Joker? A character, exactly like. Someone I could relate. Well, you see, this characters are all similar to me hence I could relate to their story. 

I don't know what is interesting now. What is fun, what is enjoyment, what is love, what is companion. Everything seems different. Blurred. Should I be in coma? Where I could dwell into the fragments of my imaginations? Where I could fly and dwell into the quiet peace and acceptance? It gets lonelier. Lonely. Covid has got into me real bad. The people, the surrounding, the atmosphere. The rules, the government. It's fucked up. 

And it's 2021. A lonely, scary year. Indeed.