A Miserable Life

It's 2023.

Nothing has changed.

Just more of debts. Adulting life.

I'm trying to get used to be an adult at an extremely young age even with suicidal tendecies. I'm not suicidal to be honest. But the urge to just end my life is so high that I don't know if living was worth or not. Responsibilities after another.

Education system is getting fucked up. The cost is umbearable. Health? Slowly declining. Have nosebleeds, 3 times. Amazing isn't it? Anxiety gotten worst. My mind is extremely disturbed by this anxiety feeling that sometimes I wish I could shut it off. There isn't a switch off button. I'm tired. I'm exhausted.

I know I have said it multiple times and I hate to repeat every single time. It's like for once I want to ever mentioned that,

"I'm not exhausted. I'm okay."

But in a sincere manner. Not as a form of fakeness. For once, I want it to be a sincere expression. Not me faking things to prove that I'm okay, that I am alright.