Trauma & What??!

Trauma. 

It's a very sensitive topic. I had traumas. Mental abuse. It got me to where I am right now. I was abused by my family (father's side), was made as an outcast by my whole family. I'm a very sensitive person. I didn't knew it was a trauma until it is. 

The trauma itself have merge with the memory I've tried to forget, the embarrassing memory that got people looking and laughing at me. The 'deadly stare' memory that got people looking as if I'm a clown. The 'idiot and dumb' memory where I was reprimanded and get embarrassed by my own boss for something that is minor but he made it as of it's a fucking huge issue. You see, this whole thing got into a combination of the traumas I've faced with my family. 

I wasn't myself. I got into dissociation a lot of time because the amount of stress, pressure and the trauma I had. I didn't knew it was dissociation until my therapist said so. It also not-scientific-studied yet that it may cause heart attack. 

Trauma is indeed a scary thing. 

Sometimes traumas can be misleading but they are valid reasons as to why we need a MENTAL HEALTH DAY!