answering your "relationship" questions

i get this questions like a lot. am i in a relationship, or not? honestly that is a complicated private questions. i don't like to expose who is my partner (since i'm bisexual) until i'm completely sure that, that person is going to be my partner till my death. 

i used once to believe in true love and also believing that once i'm attached, that person will be my love life till death, however, that wasn't the case. i've been into 4 different relationships and all is turn to vain. all of my relationships either toxic or just a "try-on" kinda thing. first relationship i had is with a girl back in primary. at first, i was like, why am i liking a girl, you know? it was a hell relationship because there was a lot of fighting, lot of quarrels. i've got to be honest that she's my first love. but that turns to end as we initiated to break off as there's no point in continue-ing our relationship knowing that we can't fully understand each other. 

my second relationship came into an end because of miscommunication, because i was bisexual and he didn't seems to accept me as a bi, so we broke up. my third relationship is with a guy, whom is 9 years older than me. well, he's a good guy but sadly, he's not. he's not employed ever since he's 21 and i'm not trying to say shit about him but well, he dreams of wanting to marry me and etc but the problem is my parents doesn't approve it because he's not employed and my parents doesn't want me to suffer when i'm with him so we both always fought about him not being employed and many more. my fourth relationship is with my own bestfriend, a girl. sadly our relationship doesn't last long than what i expected because, well, she's attached with her boyfriend whilst i'm in a relationship with her, so it's kinda complicated. 

and up till now, you can never tell if i'm in a relationship (now) or not because i want to keep things low so i'm not going to show who is my partner until the engagement thing (if that would happen) happens. i'm not saying that i am desperate for marriage or wanting to be engage. i just don't believe (right now) about soulmates or relationships after what i've been through, there's lots of misconceptions about being loyal to only get your heart broken. all i can say is that my relationship status is : COMPLICATED. 

and i guess it's enough that you all already knew why i refused to expose who is my partner or if i'm in a relationship. good luck on finding out, aye?