A Letter to my Self

Dear Skylar, 

I am sorry that you have to go through such a rough time right now and you felt that no one is there for you. I am sorry that you have to go through each and every humiliation from your father's side, old friends and probably other people. You were tired, exhausted but there is nothing you could do except let it be. You tried to ignore, laugh at it but deep in your heart, you were in so much pain that you feel it is better to be emotionless rather than have a feelings. You said to yourself that you have had enough that your heart has been broken many times and you want to be away from everything - everyone else even your loved ones. You do not want to be hurt anymore. If i could change that time again when you were ever diagnosed with mental illness, i would want you to go on a different path thanthe one that i am taking right now. I want you to be a successful person ; a person whom is respected by others, a person whom is loved by others, a person whom is thoughtful by others. I want you to be someone who could lead a generation with your great hidden abilities. I don't want you to be like me. 

I failed in every chances and opportunity i could get. I am sorry for hurting you and i am sorry for the pained that i have caused. And if only i could change back the time, the place, the moments and everything. And if i did, this whole painful experience won't happen right? 

Best of regards,

Siti