Happy Fucking 19th
it's 28 January. i'm 19. fucking blessed 19. yay and hooray. fuck those. yeah, i supposed to be happy about turning a fucking year older, but i'm not. why? things isn't getting better. yeah, i know it's fucking boring. i kept saying the same shit over and over again but it's all i could say. like what do you want me to say that hey, it's fucking changing. i'm happy. not being depressed anymore. i'm not that fucking pretender and say that things have changed. nope. fuck that.
i'm still depressed. i'm still suicidal. i'm still anxious. i'm still not getting enough sleep. it's been there and will always be. the fact that i'm still breathing, just fucking pissed me off. i just want to be in bed all day and never wakes up. the feeling of defeat is just 💔. i'm trying to view is a happy positive side but i can't. i'm just too tired and nothing could express how emotionally, physically and drained i am at the moment.
birthdays is supposed to be a happy day but it wasn't for me. it's more of a fucking worse day ever. bad things always happen a day before or a day after my birthday. that's why when it's my birthday, i wasn't as excited as before. in fact, i wish i do not have a birthday at all. it would be known to me and God himself. that's it.
anyways, happy fucking 19th, bitch.
let's see how many fucking years you could stay before you literally end your life.
i'm still depressed. i'm still suicidal. i'm still anxious. i'm still not getting enough sleep. it's been there and will always be. the fact that i'm still breathing, just fucking pissed me off. i just want to be in bed all day and never wakes up. the feeling of defeat is just 💔. i'm trying to view is a happy positive side but i can't. i'm just too tired and nothing could express how emotionally, physically and drained i am at the moment.
birthdays is supposed to be a happy day but it wasn't for me. it's more of a fucking worse day ever. bad things always happen a day before or a day after my birthday. that's why when it's my birthday, i wasn't as excited as before. in fact, i wish i do not have a birthday at all. it would be known to me and God himself. that's it.
anyways, happy fucking 19th, bitch.
let's see how many fucking years you could stay before you literally end your life.